it's more loving than ego imagines
If there was one short cut I could offer for relief of anxiety, pain, and conflict in relationships, it would be: TALK and LISTEN more.
At the mercy of subjective interpretation of things, which is generally first drafted by the fear-based ego, it is easy to assume more negative explanations for other people’s behaviors. If you are spending anxious energy trying to decode what someone did or said, please spare yourself the agony and ask in a loving and open way.
As they answer, be sure you allow yourself to really listen. If you’re already sure you have the answers and are going to argue with them about how right you are, then there’s no point in involving them in the conversation. Recognize that as firmly as ego wants to believe ego’s interpretation, the other person is a co-creator in the relationship and their perceptions, as collaborative energies, are valid and valuable. In fact, in healthy relationships their explanation will always be more loving and compassionate than anything ego could imagine.
Left to our own devices, ego usually draws the scariest and most loveless conclusions. Relief of this is readily available simply by talking, listening and allowing for the co-creation of meaning and understanding.