A side effect of playing small and resisting your power is that you become dependent on others to say and do all the right things for you, often without them even being privy to what it is you want in the first place (because you’re too anxious to tell them).
This usually leads to anxiety and eventually resentment, which in actuality isn’t fair to the other person.
It’s your job to know and love yourself well enough to be able to respect and honor your wants and needs. If you take care of yourself first, including using your voice, being clear about your boundaries, and living comfortably within your power, then you need not be anxious about what and how others engage with you. You relax into knowing that YOU have your back and YOU have keeping yourself safe and loved under control.
With this foundation in your relationship to yourself, then every other relationship and experience is a bonus—the icing on the cake of life, which you can choose to engage with or not depending on if it’s healthy and suitable for you. You’re no longer at the mercy of others to create experiences that are safe and fulfilling for you and in that you are simultaneously free from the suffering of resentment and in alignment with the creative and infinite power of self-love.
Resentment occurs when you’re waiting for someone else to set or honor a boundary instead of holding it for yourself.