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stop the polling

It’s incredibly easy to confuse approval as love and love as approval.

Undoubtedly, it feels good to have people be proud of us, and it feels comforting to have shared perspectives. However, these are all independent dynamics and none are necessarily conditional of the other.

Everyone is here on an individual journey with unique feelings, perspectives, experiences and lessons to learn. There is no value in trying to control one another’s lives to look like the vision we have for our own and no usefulness in trying to shape our lives to fit neatly in the boxes of other people’s expectations.

What’s more, relationships that hinge on people pleasing, whether that’s you to them or them to you, have no meaningful substance in the first place.

As a conscious being, you seek relationships of authenticity—both with others and especially with yourself. Focus more on living in alignment the values of YOUR heart and YOUR conscience, and less on what other people are doing or what other people think about what you’re doing.

You can love people and disagree with them. You can cherish people and have different perspectives, priorities and ideas.

You can trust your own worth and value no matter what other people say, and you can allow yourself connection to love, which is the utter essence of you, regardless of your public approval ratings.


Dearest You,

Don’t confuse caring about people with necessarily caring about their opinions of you or your life.



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