"unconditional" clarity

November 9, 2016

Lack of distinction between unconditional love and unconditional relationships causes much anguish.

 

Love is absolutely unconditional.  It’s what we’re made of and infinitely available.  Anytime you feel disconnected from love it’s not because love has abandoned you or that you are somehow unworthy; it’s that you have created some form of defense that’s blocking your access to feeling the energy of love.  This is similar when the sun is out:  If you aren’t seeing the sun it’s because you’ve gone indoors, moved away from a window, or closed the curtains.  Your decision—conscious or not—to join with the sun has no bearing on the fact that it’s indeed shining and accessible.  Such is the nature of love.

 

Relationships, on the other hand, ought to have boundaries and expectations.  Without them there’s no healthy, meaningful bond.  What’s more, as life evolves and you grow and change, relationships must grow or they’ll be outgrown. 

 

Acknowledging when a relationship isn’t honoring you, and/or being brave enough to admit that you have outgrown a relationship (or a person has outgrown you), has nothing to do with whether or not you love someone (or whether they love you). 

 

Sometimes love includes close intimacy and sometimes love includes no contact whatsoever.  Construction of a relationship has nothing to do with the availability of love and everything to do with making choices that are healthy and meaningful for you both.

 

A minority of relationships will maintain connection throughout the entirety of life.  Most, for a number of reasons, will come together and part ways.  This is okay.  This is normal.  Allow for the inevitability of change in all aspects of your life.  When you encounter the “end” of a relationship, it doesn’t inherently mean that either of you failed or that love isn’t present.

 

In all cases, one of the most loving things we can do for others and ourselves is be vulnerable enough to express and responsibly honor one another. 

 

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