It’s sometimes easier to notice what’s happening outside of yourself than it is to see what’s happening within you. As a result, the first place you notice relationship dynamics that are painful may be in observation of others’ treatment of you. If you recognize patterns of behavior in a relationship—and especially similar patterns across multiple relationships—it’s beneficial to consider your role in the experience.
Are you not setting healthy boundaries that honor you? Are you scared to use your voice and communicate about your feelings and needs? Do these patterns mirror how you disregard yourself?
It’s not possible to control other people’s behaviors. However, I assure you that if you improve the health and love of your relationship to yourself, inevitably other relationships in your life will shift as well—either by growing with you or by realizing you have outgrown them.
Love always leads, generates and follows love. The more you honorably love yourself, the more you can look forward to others doing the same.
Be conscious of what you’re showing others about how to treat and regard you. You may find you’re unintentionally giving permission for that which pains you.