Do you spend more time thinking about your relationships with others than you do reflecting on your relationship with yourself? Do you spend more energy trying to find and make connections with others than you do building your bond to you?
More often than not we develop the habit of looking for care, affection and positive regard outside ourselves, and while loving relationships are an amazing part of life, they aren’t the most important or rich source.
The only person you need to love you is you. Seriously.
And you need it desperately.
What’s more, the relationship you have with yourself sets the standard for everything that is possible with other people. Until you learn to cherish yourself, you likely won’t attract (or be attracted to) people who know how to cherish you. If by chance you do stumble onto someone who loves you more than you love yourself, you won’t know what to do with them and one way or another you’ll push them away and reject their regard for you.
It all starts with you, as your relationship to yourself is mirrored in everyone outside of you. The primary relationship dynamics you are currently experiencing reflect in one way or another, the relationship dynamics within yourself. Frustrated that people don’t make enough time for you? How much meaningful time do you make for yourself? Anxious that people don’t think you’re good enough? How sincerely secure are you in your own skin?
You wouldn’t bother signing up for classes when you’ve already mastered all the concepts. The same is true in relationships: You are unconsciously drawn to people who will provide you with the next lessons you need to learn in regard to yourself. Master that knowledge internally and you’ll see all your relationships on the outside shift accordingly.
Therefore, challenge yourself to consider how well you are taking care of yourself before you seek connection from others. If you do, I promise you’ll feel fulfilled in and of yourself, and everything else is just healthy bonus, bonus, bonus.
Love yourself. That's enough.
If and when others come and share love - wonderful bonus.